The myth of self improvement

We need a shift in thinking.

Coming from me, someone who frequents the SELF HELP section at bookstores: we need to shift our thinking.

You cannot improve yourself. That’s not how it works. You are who you are. People change, people grow. They are different. But not better.

I have totally overhauled how I think about this and I have to say, it’s liberating.

You are not better now than you once were. You have not improved, but changed. We need to let go of good/bad, better/worse, and trying to be something superior.

Its not possible. We have inherent value. This will never leave us. This will never increase as we learn how to meditate or have hard conversations or gain skills. It doesn’t make us better.

There seems to be a trend in saying you must compete with yourself to be better. This might be more accurate than competing with others, just because you actually have the information to compare to yourself. But please, don’t push yourself to be better.

If you want to be better and you are constantly assessing yourself, you might find that today, in fact, you’re worse. You might find yourself subconsciously looking down on others because they aren’t on the improvement train.

What to do instead?

Accept yourself. Accept who you are. Send love to yourself, to all corners of your soul. Give yourself the love you’ve been dreaming of. Accept your love.

In the arms of your own love, peel back your layers. Become yourself. Continue becoming and go deeper.

This is my new perspective and intention.


What are your thoughts?


One thought on “The myth of self improvement

  1. Oh yes, I so totally agree, and it has been my work for the past four years. Superior/inferior are just more examples of binary thinking and harsh self-judgement. I think it’s a smooth continuous flow of change through self-love. Much like relative perfection, it’s a relative improvement based on where I was and where I want to be. Comparative to the last state only based on personal preferences and internal locus of evaluation, but not superior, better, good, etc. I see it as a gentle shift towards a preference, with both states staying in non-judgemental waters. Hope the above makes sense.


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